Friday, February 16, 2007

*Stepping onto my soapbox*

You know what I hate?

(Oh, I hate a lot of things, as evidenced by the abundance of complaining I do here, but this thing is something I just realized I hated. Like, I've always been uncomfortable talking to people who are doing this, but I never put my finger on why exactly until yesterday. Yesterday I figured it out and was so bothered by it I wrote this little diatribe whilst waiting in the car line to pick up my kids from school. In fact, I was writing while I was pulling up car lengths, slowly drifting forward and madly scribbling words down onto the pad of paper I keep around for just this kind of thing. Oh, but I digress...)

I hate talking to people who are wearing sunglasses.

I have nothing against sunglasses. I think they serve a very, very useful purpose. And they can make you look cool, which is useful in and of itself. So I'm pro-sunglasses. But I'm anti-wearing-them-while-you-talk-to-me. Because I can't see your eyes. And that bothers me. I can't tell if you are even looking at me, or if you've been distracted by something directly to my right (or left, for that matter) and are no longer listening to a word I'm saying. I can't look you in the eye. I can't tell if you are with me or not. And this inevitably leads to me looking at the zit on your nose or maybe your mouth. And then I start looking at your teeth, and then I'm totally distracted. By that time I'M not even with me anymore. I'm trying to figure out how long you've had that zit, or if you had braces when you were younger. Or even worse, I'm staring at the plaque build-up on your teeth and wondering when the last time you brushed was. And since I'm not wearing sunglasses while we talk, you can clearly see me looking at your zit or your mouth and that just makes it awkward for the both of us, now doesn't it.

So let me reiterate - I'm anti-wearing-sunglasses-while-you-talk-to-me.

Phew. I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest. Thank you.
*stepping off my soapbox*


Husband said...

Settle down!

Take deep breaths, it will be OK

You know you have issues!

E said...

OF COURSE I have issues! Just be glad that none of them are with YOU!