Monday, April 10, 2006

He's self-sufficient, kinda. And I'm clean.

After the fateful night when my son showed up at my bedside to randomly ask me a question, which was not actually a question, he's shown up every night since. He comes just to wake me and tell me he loves me. Then he goes and gets back into his own bed, all by himself. My son, the boy who could not get to sleep without having his covers just so, is now running back to his own room and managing to get back to sleep. Yay! But I'm not sure about the waking-me-up-to-tell-me-he-loves-me thing. I'm guessing it's a stage between having me come to his bedside and tuck him in, and actually just staying in bed and going back to sleep himself. I'm pretty thankful because not having to get out of my warm bed is a big step up for me. (But did I mention this is a 6 year old we're talking about? Yeah. You with the babies who wake you up at night... Sometimes it doesn't end. Those people who tell you it will end soon, they are just saying it to make you feel better. Just wait until they can get around all by themselves, and actually get out of bed, open doors, and get into stuff. Just wait.)


Friday I had someone's say to me, "Your house is always so clean!" And then they were embarrassed that theirs wasn't. But to me, no, my house isn't always so clean. I haven't vacuumed in two weeks, the floors need mopping, and the dust, oh my god, the dust.

The one thing I do keep up with is the clutter. The kids pick their toys up at the end of the day, and I make several passes at the piles of stuff throughout the day. But don't think I have a clutter-free home. I have stacks of school papers, and piles of things here and there. I have my fair share. I also have an absence of knick-knacks and other things that people may collect. Not that I am anti-knick-knack either, I just don't want to bother with them. You see, I am lazy, and I know it. So I try not to let anything I can neglect keeping up with into my home. And I have kids, and other people's kids, so I also have toys in every room.

If I had my way, I'd have one of those modern style homes. All shiny and sleek. And sparse. Oh yeah... sparse...*sigh*. Or I've always loved shaker style homes with their place for everything and, oh, sparseness. Simplicity. That's what I like.

My house may look clean to other people, but that's not my goal. I am not one of those people who cleans just so I can say, "Look how clean my house is! Be impressed!" I keep my house picked-up because I cannot function amidst clutter. I can't relax if I have to step over things and go around this or that. I like wide open expanses of floor and for things to have a place to belong.

But also? I don't care if your house is clean or not. I've had people apologize to me for their mess - especially after hearing about my need for clean. I may need order to survive, but others can only relax when their house is lived-in and kinda messy. I realize that. So don't think I'm entering your house thinking, it would be nice if only it was cleaned up. I'm not. I say we all should be proud of our homes, and our way of living in them. And know that you are who you are - messy or not. I promise to quit feeling bad about having a house that may make people uncomfortable about making a mess in, if you promise to quit feeling bad about a having a house that isn't the cleanest. Because really, who needs more guilt?

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