When I was pregnant with my first child I did all the required reading. All the books that tell you how to raise a happy, healthy child full of self-love. I read about how you should always talk in a calm manner to your little one. How you should always explain your decisions, and how when you discipline your child it should be with respect and love. I totally agreed. Calm, I thought, I shall remain calm. And respectful. And loving. He will have a high self-esteem!
It worked for a little while. He was a happy infant. He played, laughed and smiled aplenty. I was fairly calm (most of the time! I swear!) I spoke to him in a very loving way and explained anything and everything that I thought he might want to know about.
Then his sister was born.
All of a sudden I had 2 kids under the age of 2. In fact, my son was not even a year and a half old. He had just started walking and still didn't sleep through the night without me having to join him in his bed. And my little girl cried a lot. A LOT. I was tired, and stressed. And I started to explain less, and bark commands in a non-calm manner.
Fast forward five years... Now I just bark commands. During the week my house is filled with four kids (two are mine, two I babysit for) ranging in ages from 6 to 6 months. I am not calm. I am not even very loving at times. It's every person for themselves during certain times of the day. And it's chaos, complete chaos. When I tell the kids to stop throwing coins and they ask why, I tell them, "because I said so." (Yes, today they were throwing coins. Don't ask.) When I say they cannot have another snack and they ask why, I tell them, "because I said so." Before you call child services on me, I still am a very loving person. I cuddle, play and kiss boo-boos away. And I do explain the why's when I can. But sometimes it gets so LOUD in here, that I truly cannot even think. I don't think I could tell myself why!
So phooey to all the child books that tell you how to raise your child. They just make you feel guilty for not being a perfect person. I say spend your money on babysitters and those noise-canceling headphones like these. We could all use our own Quiet Place.