Candy cane visions.

Okay, so you remember when I told you about the candy canes in my front lawn? Remember when I told you that I had bought more for the yard, bringing the candy cane count up to 20?

Well, I had a definite vision about where exactly to place those extra 10 candy canes. They would (of course!) go on the other side of the front porch to bring balance and symmetry to the display. Because the 10 we had out already were only on one side of the porch. So (of course!) we needed to put the other 10 on the other side.

Only (of course!) my husband did not share my vision. And so when I left the house to take my son to Tae Kwon Do last night (in his newly be-patched uniform) and said to my husband, "If you feel like getting ambitious..." and gestured to the new boxes of lighted candy canes, he took that to mean he could put them up wherever he wanted.

And he did. Wherever he wanted. He put the candy canes wherever he wanted. Which is exactly the opposite of wherever I wanted them. (Of course!)

So I tried to be a big girl and not whine about the candy cane placement. I am, actually, still in the process of trying not to whine. But there is no symmetry, you see, and I cannot take such madness. It is eating away at my very soul. Eating away at me, I tell you.

Edited to add: I did it. I changed them. (Of course!) I couldn't help it. I tried, I tell you, I tried really hard. But the part of me that wanted to just let it be was overpowered by the part of me that needs things to be balanced and symmetrical. (Let's hear it for OCD!)

(Sorry, honey, for what I've done to your candy cane vision. But remember, you married me willingly. And you knew about my craziness - or do I need to remind you about my cows?)

There are some things money can't buy.

Four patches for my son's Tae Kwon Do uniform: $8.00

Specialty sewing kit (because I can't find the needle and thread I already own): $5.00

Bandaids: $2.00 (for the sewing related injury)

Look of pure joy on my son's face when he saw that I had finally sewn on his patches: priceless

I'm hating the sewing, but liking the lights.

I'm taking a break from sewing my son's patches onto his Tae Kwon Do uniform. For the record, I can't sew, and I dislike it very much. Also, I dislike it very much. Ooops, did I say that twice? That just goes to show how much I dislike sewing. And I said it again. So there.

Also, for the record, we now have plastic candy cane lights on our front lawn. And some spiral-y tree thingies. Four of them, to be exact. And 10 candy canes. But we'll soon have 20 candy canes because I went to the store and bought more for the other side of the house.

Whooo, boy, we sure do know how to decorate for a holiday around here! Maybe if you're nice, I'll post pictures.

Did I mention candy canes? On my front lawn? Yeah baby!

What's happened during your day?

My day so far...

• We left the van door open last night. All night. And not only was there frost on the outside of the glass, but also on the inside. And a weird smell. I'm thankful that we live in a fairly safe neighborhood and that the van was still out there and in one piece when we woke up. But I'm not thankful for whatever it was that deposited that weird smell inside my van.
• I seemed to have lost one baby shoe, brown, size 12 months. He had it on when we went to drop the kids off at school, but I don't know for sure if he had it on when we came back into the house. All I know is that when I put him into the highchair for breakfast, he only had one shoe on.
• My friends Sara emailed me and told me to check Ebay for that Star Wars ship we didn't get last Christmas. And she was very nice in that she refrained from going, "Duh" in her email. Because, duh, who doesn't check Ebay for these kinds of things? But she did include a nice link to a specific auction, lest, duh, I can't find my way around Ebay.*
• I have forgotten to eat. Anything. And now I'm chewing on my own lip and wondering if Chapstick has any nutritional value whatsoever.

So... I'm off to scrounge for food in the kitchen. And I'm going to try to gather my wits and proceed on with my day in a calm manner. (I just love saying 'gather my wits', although I'm not even sure if I can use it correctly in a sentence. But you don't really care, right?)

*Nah, Sara would never say "duh" to me. And I don't really think she thinks I'm stupid. She just knows that temporary lapses of rational thought go along with the whole having kids thing.

Who knew - spending money makes me happy.

Yesterday made me so happy. So, so happy.

What did we do yesterday? We went shopping and bought our children's Christmas presents.

Every year I get stressed about what to buy them (and what to recommend to Santa) and we usually end up waiting until mid-December and have to run all over town to find what we want. And like last year, we end up emptyhanded; without the very coveted toy. Well, this year we had a good idea about what to get, and decided to, what the heck, go ahead and buy it all.

So we went shopping. At Target, nonetheless. We found gifts for the kids, and we helped Santa with his gift choices too. And now we are done, and I am peacefully, blissfully happy.

(Well, after I got over the sticker shock, that is.)

(Wow, how expensive can pieces of plastic get? I mean, really?)

But my husband, who should henceforth be known as spoiler of all children, is a little worried we didn't get enough. Because there is more out there that the kids would like to have. There is a lot more that we would like to buy! So I am trying my best to resist his brand of reasoning and stay strong. But sometimes when he argues that maybe they should have this-or-that, I want to give in.

Don't tell him that though, I've got a reputation as a mean-ass mommy to maintain.

Thanksgiving, a story in pictures.*

*Mostly because I'm too deeply ensconced in my post Thanksgiving sugar coma to come out and write much of anything.

Here is my first-grade pilgrim before his class's big feast. And at said big feast he ate exactly one portion of turkey and one roll. Feast on, big guy, feast on.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is my kindergarten pilgrim at her class's feast. And feast she did, with a good portion of ice cream and apple pie to top it all off. And I'd like to take a chomp out of those cheeks, because they are so, so delectable.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Here they are displaying the 'thankful turkeys' we made the day before. You can't get any better than crafts made from brown paper sacks.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hers says she's thankful for, "Family, friends, and my heart."

------------------------------------------------------------------

His says he is thankful for, "All my teachers, family, friends, sunlight, electricity so we can cook food, video games, and stores."

----------------------------------------------------------------

And here are me and my girl, as seen through the eyes of a 7 year old with a digital camera and an obvious desire to not get too close, lest the shine from his mother's forehead blind him permanently.

Enjoy your day.

There are so many things I am thankful for. I could go on for days if I truly got into the things that have blessed my life. So I'll leave it at this - I have wonderful people in my world (both close and far) who make my life something to be thankful for.

Thank you, you wonderful people, you. Thank you very much.

Sensitive.

My daughter has a big heart. She's a nurturer by nature, and she absolutely, positively loves things when others may just mildly like them. She's also tender-hearted, and yelling at her at the wrong moment may just cause her heart to break from the sheer meanness of it all.

So it should come as no surprise that she cries at sad movies. But she also cries at Spongebob movies. And that Arthur movie that came out recently. And a lot of other things that other people do not find sad in the least.

Well, yesterday before their Thanksgiving feast at her school, they sat all the children in a darkened room and turned on a movie to watch, as sort of a special treat for the children. And do you know what movie they chose to show the children? An American Tale. You know, the one with Fievel - where he gets lost from his family, and he is left all on his own to find his way? You know that one? Well, it is sad. And I arrived at the school to see my husband (who arrived earlier than me) out in the hall comforting my daughter. She was a wreck. Apparently, he peeked into her classroom to see her, and found her sobbing at the teacher's desk while they tried to make her feel better.

They're going to have to warn us if they're ever going to attempt to give my daughter a movie 'treat' again. Because this is a girl who cries every time Spongebob loses Gary, no matter how many times we've seen the episode - you can't break out Fievel on her without making her fall to pieces.

I feel like I'm famous.

A question of mine is featured over at Want Not today. And it makes me as giddy as a child who's getting candy.

(Speaking of candy... I'll be right back.)

(Mmmm, candy.)

Okay, back to what I was originally saying. Mir, from Woulda Coulda Shoulda, has a site called Want Not. She keeps track of sales and special offers and lists them throughout the day. If you've never been over there, go on and check it out.

I've gotten deals on several things she's written about, and there are several times that I'm tempted to buy things, but manage to restrain myself. (But you, you should totally buy all those cool things she features because I would like to enjoy a good deal vicariously through you. Thank you.)

Oh, anyway, if you are looking for a good gift for your children's teachers, go see her answers to the question that I asked. Now excuse me while I go do a little dance because she answered my question, y'all!

Grumpy.

Sometime in October I must have really pissed off someone important. Because I had that episode with kidney stones and an infection, I got a flat tire the day after Halloween, my health insurance was cancelled, and just yesterday my car battery died while I was waiting in the pick-up line at my children's school. (That was not fun.) Oh, and don't forget the rampant pink eye infections. Sheesh.

It's all managed to work out one way or another, but I still can't help wanting to just call it a do-over and make it all go away.

I wonder what else lies in store for me...

Weekend wrap-up.

This weekend we went to an IGA in a small town close to here. (Independent Grocers Association, for those of you who don't know.) There aren't many IGA's left out there. But we had a hot tip that the meat prices at this particular one were awesome. Like so awesome that it was worth a little extra drive once a month to buy a freezerful of meat. So we decided to check it out.

And, by golly, it was worth it. The meat was half the price of the stuff I buy at the local WalMart. So we bought some. Not a freezerful though. Our freezer is too busy being full of pizza and chicken nuggets to be bothered with something as trivial as good quality meat.

And folks, that was about my weekend in a nutshell. That was my excitement. Meat.

Oh, I also went out Christmas gift shopping. I wanted to get the friends and family who are far away all shopped for, so I managed to convince my daughter to go with me, and we hit the stores on Saturday. (I bribed her with chocolate. Works every time.) I did manage to get the majority of everyone shopped for.

The major success was the fact that I got over my obsession with gifts that have to be useful to the receiver, and I just bought some plain old frivolous things.

But you know, I still feel like gifts should be useful! Should be practical! Should have a purpose! (I think that being practical must be ingrained in my very being. That's how everything should be to me - practical.) I'm not so sure, however, that others feel that way. So I bought something pretty, with no practical use whatsoever, for someone. And I'm proud.

We're contagious.

Our house may have to have a quarantine notice posted on the front door. In fact, there may very well be one posted there as I type this.

[note to self: check front door for official notices]

Why the quarantine? Two words. Pink. Eye.

Oh yeah, the contagion of all contagions has breached our doorway and settled itself comfortably in my son's eyes. Both of them. (Fun!) And it looks like the 3 year old I babysit has got it started in his eye too. In fact, when I took my son to the doctor yesterday afternoon after having picked him up early from school, the doctor took a look-see at all of the children's eyes, just to be on the safe side.

[another note to self: try to refrain from taking 4 small children to the doctor's office again, as it was decidedly not fun.]

So if you're looking to get yourself out of any work/school/social obligations, stop on by our house and rub your hands on various child-height surfaces and then rub your eyes vigorously. Just ignore the quarantine notice on the front door.

Busy, busy, busy.

For those of you who are sitting around going What the heck, woman, why haven't you posted yet? Don't you know it's getting awfully close to lunch time? Well, y'all will have to wait. Because I just haven't had a chance to write anything. I've been too busy taking care of kids and doing some online browsing (time well spent, if you ask me.)

So in lieu of any actual writing, I'll leave you with this link: Typhoon. Go there. Do a little looking around, and check out there oh-so-cute pink vintage kitchen ware. I'm telling you, it almost makes me want to don this apron and a string of pearls and be a happy homemaker. Almost.

Anyway... another post to follow. Maybe this afternoon. Maybe tomorrow. Who knows?

The reason for my hissy fit yesterday.

So... What do you do when you realize that your health insurance company has cancelled your and your kids' policies? And that they've cancelled it before you had to go to all the doctor's appointments and receive that very expensive CAT scan? What do you do?

If you think you should call your husband in a panic and maybe yell a little and then maybe cry a little, then you and I think a lot alike.

So... Big surprise. My health insurance company cancelled my policy. And yes, they did it before my medical crisis.

And what's funny (but not so much HA HA funny) is that I did not get any notices that this was taking place until tonight. Which is after I found out by calling them this morning. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, you big doofus of a health insurance company!

But, don't fret. I think we've got it all straightened out. I'm not positive though, so don't breathe your big sigh of relief just yet. Just keep your fingers crossed that the lady on the phone who said it would be no problem to fix, we just needed to send in a letter and then they could reinstate our policy and back date it to cover all of my medical crisis bills, is correct. (Well, the percentage of the bills that they would have paid before, anyway. Sure do wish it would cover them all, though.)

But you know, it kind of irks me that they make the mistake, and I've got to be the one to write a letter to fix it. Also, I've got to deal with all the doctor's offices who will inevitably be calling me because I obviously lied about being insured. (Well, that's what they'll think, won't they?)

Stupid, dumb health insurance!

(And I'm using my nice words.)

Also, thank you to Sara for sending me an 'I'm being supportive' comment. She's the kind of friend who will join me in my name calling fest before even knowing why she's doing the name calling; the kind of friend who just needs to know that you are upset and she will stand by you, and it doesn't even matter why. That's a good kind of friend to have.

Today I'm trying to be diplomatic.

I don't think I can write a post today without starting to yell. And also I'd probably start foaming at the mouth, and sputter and spit. So I'll save you the grief. I'll just say that I really have a very strong dislike for Blue Cross and Blue Shield. A very, very, very strong dislike.

He loves him some games.

My son, who could easily start a club called Future Gamers of America, has discovered Video Mods on MTV2. They're music videos using video games instead of the band. As in, sometimes they just use scenes from the games, and sometimes they make it look like the characters are actually singing/playing the song. I have to admit, some of them are pretty cool. If you've got some time to kill, go see some of them. My son's particular favorites are "Save Me", "I'm Not Okay", and "Take Me Out". Oh, and also "DOA", which I've managed to find on YouTube:

Let the frantic begin.

So... Have you looked at a calendar lately? You, you probably have. Or you are at least aware that because it is November, the month of December will be coming soon. Very soon, in fact.

But me, I had no idea. I mean, yes, I know that December follows November. And I've been aware of that fact for a good long while now. But what I didn't realize, in my head-in-the-sand sort of way, was that we are practically in the middle of November, and that (holy crap!) Christmas is only a couple of pay days away.

Let me say it again: Holy crap!

I haven't even started shopping yet. Nor have I even made a preliminary list of things to shop for. I haven't even begun looking. Unless you count seeing an item on sale and idly wondering if so-and-so would like that particular item. Otherwise, I am wholly unprepared.

And my kids would graciously like one of everything, please. Which leaves me with the decidedly un-fun task of weeding through all the crap (oops, I mean new toys) available. Curse you Nickelodeon! You and your darn commercials!

So wish me luck. I am going to start with Toysrus.com, and work my way through all the 'must haves'.

P.S. - Curse you too, Lego, for making all those Star Wars ships in teeny, tiny Legos and then charging an arm and a leg for them. I mean, I would love to buy them for my son (even though I seem to be the only one physically able to put the darn things together here in our house) but you make it very hard on me when you price them like this.

Luckily he does the sprinkler.

Do you remember when I wrote about the baby who likes to throw remotes into various household receptacles? (No? Then go here.) Well, the baby struck again. Let me backtrack a little...

Sometime yesterday morning I noticed that the remote for the TV was missing. No big deal, I thought, I'm sure I'll run across it later. But as the day went on, I didn't find it. So I started to worry. Because while that specific remote is not necessary for our daily TV watching (the cable remote is responsible for that,) it is necessary for switching the TV to 'Video 1' mode so that we can watch DVD's.

I eventually found myself crawling around on my hands and knees, searching any nook and cranny available to a 1 year old looking to stash a remote control. I looked in the pantry, the closet, under all the couch cushions, the furniture in both the front room and family room, under the oven, in the toy boxes, and even in my purse. No remote.

It was then that I stood up, very frustrated-like, and eyed the kitchen trash can. No, I thought, surely not the trash can. But because I had nowhere else to look, I decided to dig in. Literally.

At first I merely lifted the trash bag from the can and tried to see all it's contents by peering through the white plastic. Unfortunately, I couldn't see everything, and I was getting more and more positive by the minute that this is where the remote was. So I placed the bag on the back patio, and with an audience of two (one 3 year old and one 1 year old who, I swear, smirked at me,) began to dig into the trash bag.

Luckily for me there were no dirty diapers in there, Also, no leftover oatmeal. This bag contained mostly school papers. (By the by, do not tell my kids that I threw away some of their school papers. They want me to keep every single thing. Every. Single. Thing.) And also, it contained one TV remote, slightly soiled. At the bottom. Of course.

This baby is going to be the death of me. None of my kids threw things into the trash can. Or into the toilet. Lucky for him he makes up for it by periodically doing a little dance that looks an awful lot like 'the sprinkler'. And how can I resist little baby sprinkler dances?

Morning news - in order of priority.

What does it say about me that when I logged on to the Internet this morning and saw that Britney Spears filed for divorce from her husband, I wanted to call someone up and tell them the 'good' news? How does that little tidbit of information reflect on me personally? Oh, who gives a flip how it reflects on me. Let us be happy for Britney and hope that she can claw her way out from the pit of doom that marrying that, that, man (let us call him that to give him the benefit of the doubt) thrust her into. Let's rejoice, people, because this is the kind of news I can get behind.

In other news, we had an election. And if you'll excuse me, I will now go find out who won.

Thank goodness they'll finally stop calling after today.

*phone rings*

Me, checking caller ID: "Ignore it. I think it's another one of those political recordings urging us to vote for them. You know the drill, "the fate of the country rests in your hands and you will ruin everything if you don't vote for me."

Husband: "You know what we did wrong, don't you? We registered to vote. That's how they got our phone number. No one ever called us before, when we were unregistered."

Me: "Well, damn, if I'd have known it would mean several phone calls a day, I never would have registered in the first place."

Bullets on Monday.

This Monday snuck up on me. I really wasn't ready for it. I feel like I skipped a weekend day, and was just thrown into Monday unprepared. Although, I'm not really sure what kind of preparation I needed - I knew it was Sunday yesterday, and that today would be Monday. But still... unprepared.

Also, I am unprepared for a blog entry today. I have a couple things I think I could tell you about, and have even started a couple of different entries, only to erase them. I just can't find a way to string the words together to tell a story. My thought are jumping all around and it all comes out in a very jumbled and uninteresting way. So today - bullets:

• We decorated a paper turkey this weekend. It was supposed to be a "family project" for my son's class, but my husband and I did it all. Well, we let my son put the googley eye on the turkey. But that was it. In fact, my husband and I not only worked on the project all by ourselves, but we also whisked it away from the kids once we were finished, lest they put their little fingers on it and mess anything up. If his teacher was hoping to foster family togetherness with this project, boy did she miss the mark here in our house.
• The time change has really screwed with my sleep/wake rhythms. As soon as it is dark, my body wants to go to bed. Seeing as how it's dark here a little after 5, it really is not working out well for me. And I'm waking up way too early. It's messing me all up, to say the least.
• I'm sick of taking my daughter to dance class. And she's sick of going. But neither of us wants to be the first one to say "quit" because I don't want to disappoint her, and she doesn't want to disappoint me. And also, I want her to learn to see things through to the end, not just quit things as soon as she thinks she may be bored with them. But honestly? I'm bored to death with it and want her to quit.
• And the fourth thing, well, is that I don't have a fourth thing. I just feel like I should have more to tell you.

I hope your Monday didn't sneak up on you. It really sucks when it does.

I guess I have to say no to drugs.

The doctor gave me a prescription for pain. Perc0cet*. And seeing as how I've been in a lot of pain recently (see: kidney stones and infection of something-or-other,) I've taken it a few times. But only three times, to be exact.

Why only three times? Because the darn stuff gives me headaches.

Yes, headaches. I wake up in the morning feeling like I want to die. The pain from my abdomen isn't bothering me as much. No, the throbbing, head is going to explode feeling distracts me from any other pain that may be lingering. So in that case, I guess the perc0cet is working well - I'm not even feeling the kidney stone pain.

I'm disappointed because there goes my life as a suburban mom hopped up on painkillers. There goes my appearance on Oprah where I talk about how addicted I was and how the one time I endangered my children lives while high on painkillers made me realize that I needed help. There goes my stay in rehab. And also the book I would write explaining my horrible descent into the drug trade and my subsequent rise above it all. I get none of that now.

And you know, part of me wonders why it is I cannot even take a simple painkiller without having some sort of reaction to them. What is up with me?!?


* I spelled it like that - with a zero instead of an o - because I don't really want a lot of hits on my site from people google-ing names of painkillers. I averaged 3 hits a day from google searches of being Boo-ed, so I can't even imagine what kind of hits drug names will get you.

Random-y randomness.

You know, I have to say, thank God for my husband. He's the one who, while going through a very stressful time at work, took the time to handle the whole flat tire debacle for me. (Which happened because of a rock. Evidently, it was a very sharp, very determined rock that left a hole in my tire that was too big to be patched.) He soothed me when I was at a breaking point, called a company to come get my van, and handled the subsequent phone calls from the tire people. He even talked them into delivering the van back to my front door once it's all finished. When I'm down for the count, he steps in and gets things done. What more could I ask for?

---------------------

Anyone out there want to buy cookie dough? My kids are selling it for their school. And it looks like I'm going to have to buy a whole bunch of it. My husband has already taken it to work and strong armed people into buying some. (Oh, did I say strong armed, I meant asked nicely.) I'm turning in the order forms tomorrow, so let's get those orders pouring in quickly people!

And don't be surprised if you get cookie dough from us for Christmas.

---------------------

The one year old I babysit has figured out that things dropped into the toilet make a very satisfying ker-plop sound and a giggle-inducing splash of water. It's fun for him, but not so much fun for the person who has to fish various things out of the toilet. That person, of course, being me.

His latest victim? The remote control to the TV upstairs. And I'm thinking that its time to go buy a new remote because I'm not lying in bed watching TV while using a remote that was recently brought out from the depths of the toilet. Also, do they make any waterproof ones?

I have since learned to keep the toilet lids down, and he's moved on to the kitchen trash can. Which has a lid that swishes back and forth whenever he throws something away. He's learned (smart boy!) that the heavier the object, the more swishing the lid does. And his favorite victims? Guess. Yes, remotes.

---------------------

So far today is coming along nicely, and I hope your day is too. I think there was a rash of not-so-great days yesterday, based on emails and a comment I received. Here's wishing you a better day today! And if all else fails, I recommend my husband as the man to call if you want to get things done.

And now, the pictures I promised earlier...

Medieval Princess Extraordinaire:

And Darth Vader:

Worst Day Ever and cute pictures.

Well, it's November 1st and I'm going to officially name this the Worst Day Ever. (Okay, so maybe I exaggerate a little... But not too much.) Why is today so awful? The list is long. First, I still feel awful. In addition to the kidney stone and infection pain, I now have a migraine headache. But wait, there's more. Also, I drove the kids to school with a flat tire. Yes, you read that right, a f*cking flat tire. So now the van is sitting in the driveway (because I drove the damn thing all the way back home) and I am just seething. Because all I can think is that it was some sort of Halloween prank and it's going to cost us more money than we have. And the seething is not helping my headache. And let's not forget the kids, who are all crazy and grumpy and suffering from sugar hangovers. (Except my son, who does not eat candy. He's just grumpy from lack of sleep because he seems to have decided that sleep is highly overrated and he does not need any. I beg to differ.) Oh, and my poor husband is working on a project for work that has everything going wrong, and has him tossing and turning at night, dreading going to work the next day. He thinks this could be the Worst Day Ever too.

And now it won't let me post the pictures. Apparently, my day will suck even more.