My space on MySpace.

So I joined MySpace.

I talked about joining before, and then decided to go ahead and "just do it" (to quote Nike.) (Can anyone every say that without thinking of Nike?)

I'm glad I did. I've been poking around there, typing in various names of people I knew a long time ago, and also people I've just met. I've been looking at friends of friends and finding folks I hadn't even remembered I knew. (Most of them from high school. I like that I can search people from my high school, and narrow down the ages to see all the people who were there when I was.) I've seen pictures of people that look exactly the same as they did over 10 years ago, and some who look so different that I wouldn't have recognized them if not for their names. I've looked at pictures of their children and spouses (or significant others) and it's all made me smile.

I'm hesitant to ask people to be my 'friends', though, because I'm so afraid that they will not remember me. I don't want to be presumptuous and assume that they knew me as well as I knew them. And believe me, I knew who they were. I've always been a people watcher; filing away names and faces to be recalled at a later date. But I've always felt like I'm not as obvious as they are - not invisible, but just not as noticeable - and my name and face won't ring a bell for them.

(I don't really want to know what that says about my psyche. But rest assured, my self esteem is not nearly as non-existent as that last statement made it sound. In fact, it's very healthy, thank you very much. But I don't think it was very healthy back then.)

Except, well, there's this one girl who is friends with lots of people I used to know, and um... I have no frickin' idea who she is. No clue. Her name doesn't ring a bell. Her picture confuses the hell out of me because she looks nothing like anyone I've ever known. All I can think is that maybe she's undergone major plastic surgery (horrific accident? crows feet?) since then, and nobody recognizes her either. (I probably sat next to her every day for 2 years and I'll feel like an a** when I remember who she is.)

So I'm glad I joined MySpace. But if I haven't asked to be your 'friend', and you see me on there, you better ask me. I'm too afraid you won't know me, and I'm just not prepared for the rejection. Chances are, I know who you are and will be more than happy to make you my 'friend'.

(Unless you're that girl.)